Tunnel vision from my favourite council

Toowong overpass ... future uncertain

FROM MY CORNER .... with Ann Brunswick

Does anyone share my concern about the ongoing speculation over the future of the recently completed pedestrian and bicycle overpass crossing the western freeway near the Mt Coot-tha Botanic Gardens?

It seems the $10 million structure built by the state government could be in the way of the entrance to a new (yet another) road tunnel planned by the Brisbane City Council. The overpass was announced in May 2006 as a $4 million project but its cost had more than doubled by the time it opened in March last year.
If that were not bad enough, there has since been a lot of chatter about its very existence. Apparently there is serious consideration being given to demolishing the bridge to accommodate the tunnel entrance. Member for Mt Coot-tha, Andrew Fraser, who now happens to be state Treasurer, said at the time the bridge project was announced that he had “lobbied hard” for the project that was “a victory for the local community”.
Well, it’s not so clear to me that bulldozing the structure would be a victory for anyone, especially not taxpayers. Isn’t there somebody at the state government or BCC who can stand up and say the bridge will stay? Mr Fraser perhaps? Our Lord Mayor?
If not, then maybe one of them should explain how they plan to recoup the $10 million they plan to waste and where the next $10 million for a replacement bridge will come from. Each year a lot of small community groups, sporting clubs, and other not-for-profits apply for grants of just a few thousand dollars to buy new equipment, renovate their premises, or undertake some other project that is relatively small but significant to them.
Even at $5,000 per grant, the $10 million spent on a bridge that may disappear would have helped out 2,000 organisations across our state. Unfortunately that’s the real cost of this prime example of financial and planning incompetence.
***

The saga of the overpass leads me to another gripe about bureaucrats wasting the money you and I pay in taxes and rates.

It would be good to know what genius in the Brisbane City Council agreed to install plastic parking bumpers at a near-city park. Bumpers are a common sight in most large car parks. They are usually made from concrete and are pre-cast so they can be bolted to the ground in such a way to prevent vehicles hitting a wall, fence or another vehicle. Well imagine my surprise to come upon a raft of plastic bumpers in a BCC park.
Unfortunately as my snaps show all too clearly, some of them have already started to do what any sensible person would expect plastic to do when it is exposed to the sun and comes into contact with a vehicle wheel with around one tonne of weight behind it. That’s right, they have started to crack.
Gee, what dill in the BCC didn’t see that as a possibility? Please, could somebody in the BCC get in touch and let me know that the plastic bumpers were a gift from some manufacturer, that they were installed free of charge as a trial maybe?
As a ratepayer, the alternative that my rates are paying the wages of someone who actively fostered this stupidity is too horrible to contemplate.






Holes in the argument ... plastic parking bumpers

Hypocritical Abbott blunders into virgin territory

By Mungo MacCallum



There are many things to celebrate on Australia Day, but perhaps the most important is that it marks the end of the silly season. It is the time politicians and the media dust themselves off and start on the serious business of the year. Or at least they would have if Tony Abbott had not told the Women’s Weekly that he would advise his daughters to sit on it until they were married.

Actually if he had put it as straightforwardly as that there probably wouldn’t have been much of a fuss. Some might have derided him as a bit old fashioned (or, as his 18 year old daughter Frances put it, “a lame, gay, churchy loser”) but a lot of traditional parents might have shrugged in mute agreement. However, Abbott being Abbott, he had to take it further. After all, the Weekly was doing an extensive piece on his favourite subject – himself – and indeed on his favourite aspects of it – ethics and beliefs, creed and credo. So Abbott felt constrained to add that virginity was a gift from God to a woman, and the most precious gift she could give to a man. By way of later explanation he insisted that he wasn’t preaching – this was simply the advice that he would give to his own three daughters, although given that two of them had already reached adulthood it could still be seen as a touch patronising. But no one really believed him.
The worst fears of the moderates, both inside and outside the Liberal Party, were confirmed: Captain Catholic was back in charge. The Mad Monk just couldn’t help himself; he was incapable of drawing the line between public policy and private morals. And in Australia, this was always going to be a bummer.
Actually Abbott received more support than he probably expected; talk back radio ended up slightly in his favour thanks to a blitz by women of a certain age (and possibly also a certain religion). And the most severe critics tended to be the usual suspects: feminists such as Catherine Lumby and Eva Cox, who were generally seen as political fringe-dwellers at best.
Kevin Rudd sensibly laid low and said nothing, and his deputy Julia Gillard restrained herself to the terse observation that Australian women could make their own choices and did not want to be lectured by Tony Abbott. Even this was too much for the Liberals’ normally sensible legal affairs spokesmen George Brandis who said Gillard had no right to talk about families because she didn't have one herself.
The quick response was that Gillard was not talking about families but about Tony Abbott, and that Brandis would presumably also disqualify the Pope and all celibate clergy from the debate; indeed, perhaps he should disqualify himself from discussing women and children since he did not have a womb.
But the real argument centred around Abbott’s hypocrisy, which he at least acknowledged; after all he could hardly deny it. Rather sheepishly he admitted that when his daughters said to him: “But daddy, you did all those things yourself,” he had replied: “Well, yes, I did.” And indeed he had, and more.
It is on the record that while studying in the seminary to become a priest, his lust was so overwhelming that he was forced to appoint a personal celibacy adviser. This hapless individual was not up to the job; Abbott jumped the wall and quickly gained a name for successful lechery at Sydney University. There was an unfortunate experience when one girl with whom he was playing Vatican roulette becoming pregnant, and the child was adopted out; years later Abbott was reunited with the man whom he thought was his son but whom tests showed had another father altogether. And there are many unedifying anecdotes about his time at St Johns, the Catholic residential college of Sydney University. They are best summed up by a fellow student who prefers to remain anonymous: “Tony would fuck a hole in the wall if it had hair around it.” T
hus when he claimed that he was urging restraint upon young men as well as young women, there was a certain amount of coarse laughter. But the more serious underlying complaint was about the idea that a woman’s virginity, and therefore presumably her entire sex life, could be regarded as no more than a gift to a man. The issue died a natural death in the media, but the memory of that piece of unbridled misogyny will linger on.

***

This generation’s answer to Screaming Lord Sutch, Gibbering Lord Monckton, is so obviously loony that under normal circumstances Australians would treat his ravings with the contempt they deserve.
But alas, these are not normal times; the anti-science brigade is not only on the march, but is making the running on the whole issue of climate change.
They have been helped along by some very powerful financial backers and some influential allies in the media, but what has given them a real lift is the revelation that some of the advocates for the case for global warming have been shown to be over-enthusiastic and in some cases just plain wrong. These flaws, according to the sceptics, show that the whole scientific edifice painstakingly erected over a decade is shonky; scientists are not to be trusted, and it is likely that the earth is flat after all, just as reasonable people have always suspected. Of course they show nothing of the kind; 99 per cent of the science, supported by 99 per cent of qualified scientists, remains intact.
By any rational standard the case for man-made global warming is beyond argument, even if all the details cannot be quantified. But in political terms, we are just about back to square one. It is to be hoped that people of good will from all parties can restore some sanity to the debate. The fact that Tony Abbott and even Barnaby Joyce have shunned numerous invitations to associate themselves and their parties with Monckton’s outrageous demagoguery is a hopeful start.

Top cop questions media focus on pub violence

The police officer in charge of the nation’s first designated entertainment precinct has question whether media coverage of glassings and other violent acts in and about licensed premises is causing more harm than good.

Inspector Steve Donnelly, providing a report to a meeting of the Valley Liquor Accord late last year, is recorded in the meeting’s minutes as saying “very likely” when asked by a venue representative if media coverage had contributed to an increase in glassings in the local area.
The senior police officer had told the meeting that the use of glasses in assaults was increasing, from seven in 2007, 10 in 2008, and 24 before end of May in 2009. The minutes record that Inspector Donnelly made it clear it was only a person opinion, but The Independent has been told by a participant at the meeting that the inspector to stress his point mentioned that the media did not publish reports on suicides as it was known to lead to more suicide attempts.
According to the minutes, another participant later
asked whether the media could be encouraged then to stop using the term “glassing”. Inspector Donnelly’s comments followed a lengthy series of articles by The Courier-Mail under the banner Punch Drunk, highlighting what the paper sees as increasing violence across the state’s entertainment precincts.
The inspector’s report to the VLA meeting tended to back that claim. He told attendees approximate statistics for October last year showed 112 assaults in Brisbane central district, 56 of which occurred in Fortitude Valley. This was up from 100 last year.

Above: The Valley boasts its image as an entertainment hub.

Council stays firm on no compo for mall losses

Renewed calls by the local councillor and The Independent for traders to receive compensation for the much-delayed Chinatown Mall makeover have been rebuffed by City Hall.

This paper contacted the Lord Mayor’s office on Monday, asking whether the administration would reconsider compensation after council first reopened a large section of the mall on December 18, only to close it again at the beginning of January. As of Monday, the site was about as public-unfriendly as it has ever been since construction began in the first half of last year. The project is now expected to be at least six months over its original completion date.
And councillor for Central Ward David Hinchliffe weighed in: “The Lord Mayor should offer some form of tangible compensation for all mall traders for this delay.
“These people have done it tough and the cruellest blow is to be told they can start work again in December only to be presented with even more obstacles in January.
“If Campbell [Lord Mayor Campbell Newman] can’t say ‘sorry’ to traders and residents, then I am prepared to do that on behalf of council. I am sorry that this Newman administration has taken so much time on this project and has decided not to compensate traders or apologise to traders and residents for the inconvenience.”
Economic Development chair Jane Prentice said of this paper’s request for compensation: “No. We are providing local traders with an $8 million upgrade of Chinatown mall without requiring them to make any contributions to the project.”
Cr Prentice did apologise to local traders for opening up much of the mall in December, only to close it again.
“We sympathise with local traders and thank them for their patience. Chinatown Mall is one of the oldest areas in Brisbane with numerous unmapped or poorly mapped services including public and private storm water drainage and sewer mains and connections.
“This has caused a plethora of problems including having to find these services and then repair and relocate many of them. This was only made more difficult by the hard rock (Brisbane Tuff) that workers had to try and smash through. Then there was the decision by Energex and gas providers to upgrade their infrastructure while we were down there.”
Asked what were the chances of late December being repeated come Chinese New Year – with the barricades coming down for the festivities but then going back up again – Cr Prentice said only: “Although it will be tight, the mall will be open and ready for Chinese New Year celebrations."
Cr Hinchliffe said: “The February 14 deadline is absurd. It was supposed to be finished in August last year. “The very least he [Lord Mayor Campbell Newman] should do is to apologise in person to traders and residents for the incredible delays, broken promises, noise and disruption.”

Above: The mall on Monday, looking west to the grand arch that is still only just over half cladded. The bottom half of the redevelopment remains a no-go zone for the public.

Non, non ... a hundred times non!

FROM MY CORNER .... with Ann Brunswick


First, the good news. The old Milton tennis Centre is to be redeveloped after being left vacant for the best part of a decade.

Now, the bad news. The developers are hoping to build something akin to the Emporium in the Valley on the site with retail, residential, and office spaces.
“We’re thinking it would be a modern version of the Emporium in the Valley,” a spokesperson for the developers was quoted as saying in one of our city’s bigger fish-wrappers.
Well, that’s just what this city needs – another overdeveloped precinct chock full of ordinary architecture tarted up with faux-French touches.
Please, can’t someone do better?
In the past month the Brisbane City Council had cause to send me a letter. Let’s just say the BCC and I are having a slight disagreement about a certain matter.
Having penned a reply to their letter, the next step was to address the envelope to send it off to the council.
But, a thorough scan of the BCC’s letter revealed no return address.
Of course the original envelope containing the council’s letter had long been despatched to my recycling wheelie bin.
Certainly as a ratepayer, it annoyed me to have to track down the council’s postal details. Don’t you think it is basic good manners to include a return address on letters you send? Obviously the BCC doesn’t.

Has anyone told Her Majesty?

The Victorian Government has just scrapped references to the Queen in criminal legal proceedings.
The state’s Attorney-General Rob Hulls says references to Her Maj are outdated. How right he is.
From now on criminal cases will be mounted in the name of the Director of Public Prosecutions.
One wonders if Queensland will dispense with the Queen in the same way.

We’ve got the bad bottle blues



My column last issue about how hard it is to open those little metal tops of bottles of Schweppes ginger ale led to a litany of letters from fellow sufferers.
Why, even this paper’s wine writer David Bray sent me an email. You can probably tell from his photo on the wine page in this issue that he is an absolute dearheart, but he’s a thorough gentleman to boot. We mix socially every now and then outside of work, and he has never, once made a move, although I suspect he’d like to. Anyway, here is just a sample of the letters, postcards and emails I received.

My dearest Ann,
Although of the gin-and-tonic persuasion I write to add my penn’orth to support your opinion of that recent venturer into the arcane arts of torture, the one and only Schweppes. I have before me a diminutive, yet in the realm of instruments of torture a giant, bottle of Schweppes Indian Tonic Water stamped “BB 18 NOV 10 00:59 3212 9323 3” on its side.
Attempts at opening it engender instant wrist contusions, then scalded fingers in holding it under the hot tap, more frictions burns in resorting to towel, sponge, or anything else handy, and then serious risk of lacerations when finally resorting to a Stanley knife to attempt to part the nibs on the cap from the ring holding it in. To do that one needs to hold the bottle on its side and push very hard on the utility knife while holding the cold wet and slippery bottle firm—‘tis exceedingly difficult.
Once success is achieved in cutting through a couple of those connecting pieces of reinforced steel the top may then give way to one of the earlier removal methods. It’s totally beyond the pale!
The only item coming close to ruining a calm evening is the ring pull inside the cap of a 1-litre carton of Devondale UHT milk. Either the ring breaks or the whole assembly comes off leaving the carton forever open to the elements (and the elements inside our fridge are often none too benign, I might add).
Thank you for bringing up these irksome matters. Let’s hope the Authorities Take Note.
With very best wishes

Austin Adams
Kangaroo Point
Via email

Hi Ann
Love your nom de plume!
We all have our pet peeves and the Schweppes twist bottle is just one of mine. The difficulty of opening, the reduction in size and same price for less is enough to make one turn to another brand. I have not had the same problem with other brands. However, there is no other brand for me, not even Kirks. I am rather fond of a splash of soda water with my single malt and only Schweppes does it for me.
Speaking of single malts…not only did Schweppes reduce the bottle size but not the cost without so much as a “by your leave”, the spirit bottlers did the same! Slyly, in the dead of night, the size of all spirits went from 750 ML down to 700 ML, again without any reduction in cost! My Scottish ancestor would spit in their eye.
Keep telling it like it is. I am an avid reader.
Regards
Peter
via email January 12

Dear Ann
I know how you must hate those pesky screw tops. Soft drink is a bit out of my territory (water only with single malt), but the good Mrs B had almost nightly struggles with those wretched wine bottle screw tops. Mind you, we won't buy wine that has a cork, which is even more difficult for her arthritic hands. Often around 6pm I hear the sounds of struggle in the kitchen and know the unscrewing time has come. Do you not have a gentleman to come to your aid?
Yours in understanding and emerging from the far reaches of this publication.
David Bray

Oh, Ann
How I laughed when i read your column about trying to open those jolly little bottles !!
I thought it was only me and my weak wrists
I agree with you too, that Schweppes is a much better drink than Kirk’s
Love your column too
Deb
via email January 18

I also received a lovely postcard for Barbara Curtin who wrote: “Re. bottle top removals. You need a pair of large white kitchen scissors with a grip on the handles.”
Thanks Barbara!

Pub spooked by mysterious spectre

By John Orr

Spirits have always been available at the Story Bridge Hotel for a century, but one in particular is causing staff some concern – it’s a ghost that dwells on the top floor.

Staff report and management confirm that an apparition makes its presence felt late at night in the Martini Bar Function Room after patrons have left and staff are locking up. “I’ve seen it – an apparition in the mirror; a shadow that seems to sprint when you confront it,” duty manager Andrew Thornton said.
“It is inexplicable, you lock your doors, you leave the lights on – in the morning they’re unlocked and they’re out – yet no-one’s been there.”
Functions room staff and management confirmed his account. One who preferred to be only known as “Sue” has been at the Martini Room since its 1996 opening and she stated: “When the people go and you close, things happen without reasonable explanation. There is a presence, it’s definitely male, but its not threatening. Unlike some men, I’ve never felt it predatory … just lonely. There is just extraordinary sadness and its tangible I kid you not, ” she said.
“I spoke to a psychic and she thinks it’s friendly – more like the cartoon character, Casper The Friendly Ghost than the Phantom of the Opera or the X Files, or like horror films with things that go bump in the night.”
She speculated it was a man with issues of injustice to resolve and could not move on until done so. “He’s feeling awful about something wrong or unsaid.”
The Martini Room is in the oldest section of the hotel – recently voted Australia and Queensland’s best – and until five years ago was used for accommodation, offices and storage. Reports from staff that cannot been unexplained have been constant since then Mr Thornton conceded some staff refused to be alone in the Martini Room after dark. H
e also confirmed that another duty manager had left the hotel after an encounter with the ghost. On condition of anonymity that manager who works at another prominent inner-city hotel told The Independent: “I was happy at The Bridge but I will not visit up there alone. I felt no menace but there is no question it is frightening. It seems to seek out company after the crowds are gone. It wants to communicate but can’t but it likes to be around you.”
Another duty manager, Andy “Capper” Johnston has been investigating and researching records as to deaths in the area at the John Oxley Library to attempt to establish the identity of the spirit form. “As a long-term KPR [Kangaroo Point Resident] I have two theories. It’s the miner Patrick Mayne allegedly butchered – murdered – in the abattoir adjacent to the hotel in the mid 1800s or Edwin John Baldock who used to drink here and was decapitated by the Vampire Killers.”
Mr Johnston also noted Kangaroo Point was the oldest part of Brisbane and had seen indigenous wars, massacres, been a jazz favourite of American soldiers in World War II and the favourite drinking place of the Painters and Dockers until they were disbanded after the Costigan Royal Commission into organised crime .
SBH chief manager Andrew Ford said he was not concerned about the ghost: “I’ve been fully informed of the issue. I’ve been the boss of a number of old Brisbane hotels – the RE, The Regatta, the Breakfast Creek before the Bridge and I’ve never seen anything like this.
“I’m reassured that all staff who have experienced this tell me it is benign not malign. There is no safety issue here. It only manifests itself at closing time and at extra cost we roster on double staff to close that room down at night. It’s a mystery is all I can say.
“The presence seems to be localised only to this room after everything is quiet. However, I will consult with the proprietor Richard Deery about that on his imminent return from Europe.”

Writer’s disclosure: Blessed with healthy scepticism, I asked and was permitted to enter the top floor alone, late after all had left. All was empty, doors locked, lights on. The air-conditioned room suddenly became very warm and I was absolutely certain there was someone looking at me. I turned and looked across at the city and the lights went out in the room and then in the city across the river. A gaseous human thing I understand is called an ectoplasm appeared – and then vanished – and the lights came on. I now believe in the Ghost of the Story Bridge Hotel. And as a lapsed, nay collapsed Catholic I again believe in the Father, Son and The Holy Ghost. I had not been drinking that night, but after writing this story, I headed out for a very large whisky.



Top: The famous Story Bridge Hotel. Above: the stairwell to that apparently haunted room.

Labor turns up heat over square

Brisbane City Council Labor leader Shayne Sutton has call on Lord Mayor Campbell Newman to take immediate action and re-think the design of King George Square, after its temperature reportedly reached over 50degC on Monday (January 18).

Councillor Sutton made the call yesterday at the Morningside Ward Office, Bulimba, where she displayed photographs of the “old” King George Square on hand.
“The new King George Square has been open for three months now, and it’s clear the design is not suitable,” Councillor Sutton said.
“Brisbane residents have clearly said the square is too hot and they would have preferred more green space in the final design –- and Labor councillors have always agreed.
“Cr Newman has been at the helm of this project from the start, but it’s time for him to swallow his pride and seriously re-think the stark, arid design of the square,” she said.

Be climate smart in 2010

Climate change is the single biggest environmental threat facing the world today. It’s affecting us all in the community and we need to start making changes in the way we do things, and Member for Brisbane Central, Grace Grace MP, is encouraging all households to register for the ClimateSmart Home Service program that can help save energy in and around the home as a great start to the New Year.

“This program is a great way for households to learn about what is using too much energy in their home and then making decisions on how to lower their usage,” Ms Grace said.
“For a $50 service fee, a qualified tradesperson will visit your home to conduct an energy audit, provide energy advice, install energy saving tools such as a household energy monitor and a water efficient showerhead, and also supply 15 compact fluorescent light globes.
“This service is a bargain as it is usually worth $250,” she said. One of the most important elements of the ClimateSmart Homes Service is the installation of a wireless household energy monitor. The monitor will provide you with real time data about your energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions.
“This means you can make informed decisions about how much power you are using at any time.” “Every little bit helps and the ClimateSmart Home Service program is a fantastic way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in your home for the environment’s future.”
To register for this service, complete your details at www.climatesmart.qld.gov.au/your_home/climatesmart_home or phone 1300 130 372.

HQ set to give Valley a big boost

Several thousand extra workers will provide a welcome boost to the Valley’s day economy when the massive HQ project on the corner of Wickham and Brookes streets opens in a few months.

And it will connect a few more dots on the way to making the area’s day economy stronger, according to Valley Chamber of Commerce CEO Carol Gordon.
“Approximately 3000 extra workers into the area from early April 2010 is definitely a positive input into the area,” Ms Gordon said. “It will provide connectivity and be complementary to the Emporium and the two Homemakers centres as well as James Street and service the RNA development and Waterfront Newstead development.
“Restaurants and eateries, takeaway food and convenience shopping will complement many of these adjoining retail and business precincts.”
Ms Gordon said the chamber had actively been seeking support for both the day and night economies in the Valley as they were vitally import ant. The chamber continued to submit letters to council, make government submissions and sought funding applications on a regular basis and worked with Commerce Queensland on business pulse surveys to gauge impacts.
The chamber continued to have councillors address many of the monthly meetings in the area and Lord Mayor Campbell Newman would address the chamber’s February luncheon meeting on his vision for the suburb and environs. Ms Gordon said the chamber had been actively pursuing the town planning process with the Valley Neighbourhood Planning process due for final approval now at the first council meeting for the year in February.
“It has always been the overriding objective to increase the number of office workers moving into the area as this is primary way of increasing the customer base for the day economy,” Ms Gordon said.
• The Lord Mayor’s address to the chamber luncheon is on Wednesday, February 3 from 12.30pm to 2pm. It’s in the executive function room Level 3, Cloudland 641 Ann Street Fortitude Valley . Tickets are $55 for chamber members and $60 for non members (plus booking fee) and includes a two-course lunch and glass of wine. Inquiries to Warren Wackerling on 3235 0128 or 0438 320 162 or via email to: wwackerling@valleychamber.com.au

Stepping out to a different Valley of old

Performance

Hey Scenester!
Visy Theatre, Brisbane Powerhouse
Thurs to Sat January 28-30
Tickets: Phine 3358 8600 or visit
www.brisbanepowerhouse.org


Want to take a peek at the Valley entertainment scene in the years before it became the throbbing, hobnobbing, flashy, trashy entertainment precinct that it is today?

Or in the words of Claire Marshall “before Fortitude Valley had become a boganised tourist attraction and district of megaclubs.” Claire is the driving force behind Hey Scenester!, a contemporary dance, pop culture inspired work, looking at ‘scenesters’ and Fortitude Valley’s nightlife and playing at the Visy Theatre at the Brisbane Powerhouse in New Farm later this month.
Choreographed by Claire Marshall in collaboration with dancers and drawing inspiration from research, interviews, and observations in the Valley over the past 20 odd years - and they were pretty odd years by all accounts - Hey Scenester! is a flash back to Brisbane alternative, and indie clubs in the early-mid 1990s and explores club culture in Brisbane when “corruption was rampant, but self-expression was permitted”.
Explains Claire: “Embracing the gritty, dilapidated clubs that once existed, clubs that a gust of wind could easily blow over, or the Dean brothers could knock down overnight, Hey Scenester! is a tribute to a scene now gone – that many claim to have been part of, but than no one can remember the exact details of.
“ If you remember Funkyard, Mass, Bleach, or Pop Scene (to name just a few), Hey Scenester! looks at the good, the bad, and the ugly side of club culture and human behaviour – which transcend time and an era of a club.”
Claire Marshall was a recipient of the Ausdance Queensland Brisbane Front Program Choreographic Residency, which saw the first development presented in November 2009 at the Judith Wright Centre shop front space.
Hey Scenester! sees the Visy Theatre transformed into a non-traditional theatre space for the second installment of the work.
Hey Scenester! is billed as an eye-opening look at changes in nightlife and club culture in Fortitude Valley, exposing the scene and not so seen!