Star Signs

YOUR FUTURE ... with Horace Cope

SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22)
After failing every literature question at a family evening playing trivial pursuit, you start to wonder if you’re about as well read as a copy of Mx.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22)
You suspect the ABC TV might get into trouble with the Trade Practices Commission for describing the new series of The Librarians as “great Aussie humour”.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20)
Especially seeing Channel 9 is still paying off heavy fines for calling every episode of Hot in Cleveland over recent months “hilarious”.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
And you suspect ABC TV might be gilding the lily just a tad by billing its online preview episode of new comedy/drama Rake as a “world premiere”.

PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20)
You hear that new Queensland pollie Wyatt Roy is far from happy with his new office in federal Parliament – there’s no high chair.

ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20)
You begin stopping just about every person you meet in the street in your bid to find someone, anyone who actually watched the Commonwealth Games TV coverage.

TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 20)
On that note, as a constituent of Mr Roy you try to obtain an appointment to see him at his office but are told you first need to supply evidence you possess a Blue Card.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 21)
Meanwhile, you hear that things are going better down the corridor, where Rob Oakeshott’s introductory address to his new office staff is nearing its end.

CANCER (June 22 to July 23)
You hear that the motoring show Top Gear plans to test drive the sort of car that the great unwashed out there in TVland might ... just might, mind ... be able to afford – just not any time soon, okay?

LEO (July 24 to Aug 23)
You watch Top Gear Australia and Iron Chef Australia and begin to wonder if they are both made by the same production house and whether it is called Why On Earth Do They Bother Productions Pty Ltd.

VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sept 23)
You couldn’t agree more with the decision by Channel 9 to move Daryl Somers’ variety show to Saturday nights, especially the name change to Hey, Hey, It’s Wednesday.

LIBRA (Sept 24 to Oct 23)
As a teacher you welcome the Bligh Government’s new Schools Against Violence report on bullying because it is just heavy enough to knock out unruly students, yet light enough not to leave a bruise.