The Independent has obtained an extract of a meeting of sitting LNP councillors at City Hall in late 2007, just months before the municipal poll of early 2008. It was chaired by then Lord Mayor Campbell Newman and attended by sitting LNP councillors. These shocking extracts reveal how the use of the copycat cleat came about!
Voices of welcome.
Nicole Johnston (Tennyson): Isn’t David Hinchliffe the representative for Central Ward?
Newman: Oh, for goodness sake, Nicole. Of course Councillor Hinchliffe is one of the elected representatives for Central Ward. But Vicki here is also the elected representative ... the LNP elected her to be its representative just as I elected her to be my Lord Mayor’s representative for the ward. I don’t know why, Nicole, you’ve always got to throw a spanner in the works. Can’t you just be a team player like Graham and the rest of the brown-nosers here! Yes, Amanda?
Amanda Cooper (Bracken Ridge): Would you like me to get you a nice hot cuppa, Chair?
Newman: Sorry?
Cooper: Lord Mayor chair.
Newman: Sorry?
Cooper: Lord Mayor chair, Sir.
Newman: That’s better. But bloody hell, Amanda. I haven’t finished the one you made me after we confirmed the minutes. And I distinctly remember asking for two sugars. Now general business. Any general business?
Negative murmurs around the room.
Lord Mayor Newman: Well, I have one.
Graham Quirk (Rochedale): Good on you, sir!
Newman: Shut up, Graham. Now, I’ve been looking over our LNP campaign material for the upcoming council elections and I’ve come to the conclusion that it needs some jazzing up. The pamphlets and signs all look fine with our CanDo slogans but they just need something. Maybe a pattern of coloured shapes to mould them altogether under the CanDo Team banner.
Adrian Schrinner (Chandler): Something like the blue and white pattern that run across the top of official police documents?
Newman: Exactly, but of course we couldn’t use that.
Angela Owen-Taylor (Parkinson): I’ve always loved the green and purple colours associated with Wimbledon. Maybe some pattern using those?
Matthew Bourke: (Jamboree): Yes, good idea. Maybe green circles and purple rectangles running across the bottom. Something like that?
General murmurs of approval.
Lord Mayor Newman: Look, we’re on the right path here but the boys in head office came up with the idea of using gold and blue blocks of colour alternating down the left-hand side of our campaign material. Here are some examples the LNP’s graphics people came up with.
Lord Mayor shows meeting some placards.
Graham Quirk: Fantastic idea, Sir!
Newman: Shut up, Graham. Now what do we all think?
Margaret de Wit (Pullenvale): I think you’ve nailed it on the head, sir! It’s very pretty.
Jane Prentice (Walter Taylor): Brilliant leadership, sir!
Ian McLachlan (Hamilton): Like it. Like it a lot.
Geraldine Knapp (Pullenvale): I think it’s a can-do!
Short round of applause halted by the chairman’s gavel.
Nicole Johnston: Doesn’t someone already use that design? I’m sure I’ve seen it before...
Newman: There you go again, Nicole. Always on the outer. So help me, I can’t see a future for you in my CanDo administration with your carping criticisms. You really do need to change your ways or you’ll end up on the outer. Does anyone else here have any idea what this silly woman is talking about?
Soft chorus of "no idea" and "nope, nope, nope".
Newman: Well, that’s settled then. I formally move that this design be used on ....
Nicole Johnston: I know what it is. It’s the city council’s official cleat!
Newman: Oh, for Christ’s sake, Johnston. The council’s official cleat is totally different to this. You know full well that we can’t use the official cleat in political campaign material and do you think that I as your supreme CanDo leader or the LNP would even consider using this design if there was the slightest chance it could be confused with the official one? That would be completely unethical! It would be like playing underhand, sneaky tricks on the voters of Brisbane. A politician’s career would be very short indeed playing such games. Voters respect people who are all about being smart and making strong choices.
Shouts of "hear, hear" from around the room and a "Well done yet again, Sir" from Graham Quirk.
Vicki Howard: I know I’m only an observing representative here and I shouldn’t say anything but I think it’s lovely and I’d certainly like to use it in my upcoming 2008 campaign.
Newman: Thank you, Vicki. Now as I said, I’d like to formally move...
Amanda Cooper: "Would you like that cup of tea now, Sir. I mean, Lord chair mayor sir?
Newman: Oh, for God’s sake, Amanda. We’re almost through here. Oh, look, I’m sorry for that. And everyone else too. You’ll all have to forgive me. I’ve been a little short with people all day.
Nervous titters circulate around the room.
