Star Signs

With HORACE COPE

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22)
You see a CityCycle bicycle being ridden down at New Farm and report the theft immediately to police.


CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20)
But when you see the same City Cycle bike collide with a new model Falcon you realise you must be dreaming.


AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
You still don't know why the Brisbane City Council rejected your bid to operate a scheme similar to City Cycle but with the much-catchy name Town Bike.


PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20)
You are rushed to hospital in a deep faint after you buy a new piece of computing hardware for your home PC and the installation disk actually works.

ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20)
You hear Laurie Oakes is still very angry at being overlooked for Tony Abbott’s shadow cabinet.

TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 20)
After seeing the latest TV ratings, you finally realise what the LAC in Cops LAC stood for: Like Anyone Cares.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 21)
You really admire how anchor Tracey Grimshaw keeps a straight face throughout the entire taping of Channel 9’s excellent 6.30pm weeknight show, A Current Advertorial.

CANCER (June 22 to July 23)
You suspect corruption in world cricket might be more widespread than first thought, after the Channel 9 cricket commentators started plugging a special, limited-edition, personally signed collage of colour pictures of Peter Siddle’s hat-trick for only $999 excluding postage - in the first session of play and some hours before he actually took the wickets.

LEO (July 24 to Aug 23)
You were devastated to hear the final show of Hey Hey It's Saturday being touted as season-ending, not concept ending.

VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sept 23)
You fondly remember back to a time when the start of television’s “silly season” was clearly identifiable.

LIBRA (Sept 24 to Oct 23)
You wonder if those annoyingly long annoucements about the new quiet carriages on CityRail are actually broadcast in the quiet carriages.

SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22)
Look, Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath are still looking pretty damned fit, so surely there’s no reason why they can’t be selected for the Adelaide Oval test and flown there immediately?