Death of the party

By Don Gordon-Brown

After a slow start, Valley Fiesta finally came to death late on Sunday afternoon.
That's when hundreds upon hundreds of zombies poured into the event after some carryings-on up in the city.
Covered in more blood than you'd find on cattle killing day at Brisbane Abattoir, the zombies livened up a pretty dull afternoon in what is believed to be the first time that the city's living dead have come together to stage a full reenactment of the 3am lockup in the Valley.
In fact, it could very well be a world first in that regard.
There were pale faces with massive wounds on their cheeks, as if they had been glassed for some heinous crime such as approaching some bloke's girl in a bar and saying something really provocative like "gidday."
Brave souls with axes and other implements imbedded in their chests as if they had jumped a taxi queue in Brunswick Street or something. Others with limbs missing as if they had been pushed onto the roadway by drunken yobs out for a laugh.

Even cars restricted to 50kph can cause a terrible amount of damage.
The effects were startling, and it's understood some of the zombies even used makeup to achieve such deadly results.
Then there were the vacant, lifeless eyes above mouths cruelled by the rictus of unexpected and sudden violence .... although come to think of it that might have just been security staff at the front of the various licensed establishments fronting the mall.
And there were some who hadn't gone in for a lot of makeup, seemingly just happy to have made it to the lurch on time.
Nevertheless, all the zombies displayed a lot of guts - some literally - by just coming into the Valley Entertainment Precinct in the first place.
Hadn't they heard that Rupert's rags up the hill - The Courier-Mail and Sunday Mail - have described the place recently as "increasingly violent" and the "valley of fear".
Weren't they aware they risked the real chance of being stabbed, bashed or bludgeoned to .... oh, okay, got it.
"It's the biggest turnout in dying memory," one participant didn't tell me of the bizarre spectacle that no doubt seemed so out of this world to many bystanders, and yet somehow so very familiar to this Brunswick Street West regular.
After they had tired of posing for cameras and frightening small children half to zombie membership entitlement, some of the zombies tried to get into licensed venues while others munched on McDonalds.
Don't they know junk food could kill them. Okay, once again.... got it... finally!
Others just enjoyed the music and appeared to be having the time of their deaths.
But let's leave the last word on the entire event to the lanky copper who was policing the entrance to the Valley railway station, as dozens of zombies made their way home.
"I feel absurdly normal today, " said I to the copper as I made my way inside, dressed in an old-man's check shirt, semi-presentable fawn dress shorts and fashionable if cut-price runners.
"That'll happen in the Valley." he replied.