Star signs

STAR SIGNS ... with Horace Cope

GEMINI (May 21 to June 21)
You read that owners of the Clem 7 tunnel are freezing charges at current discounted rates until June 30 to encourage more patrons and suspect they might mean June 2030.

CANCER (June 22 to July 23)
You support Cr David Hinchliffe’s ongoing campaign publicising Valley “grot spots” but wonder why he doesn’t save time and money by taking an aerial snap of the whole precinct.

LEO (July 24 to Aug 23)
You are tickled to read a Sydneysider’s suggestion that a suitable tribute to teenage lone sailor Jessica Watson would be to rename the harbour city’s Watsons Bay as Watsons Bay.

VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sept 23)
At your school P&C meeting other parents try to convince you that the bill for $317,636 (inc GST) to build a 2m x 1.5m garden shed for the groundskeeper under the federal government’s Building the Education Revolution program is a tad on the high side.

LIBRA (Sept 24 to Oct 23)
But, you argue, it's a bargain given that a neighbouring school paid through the nose for an identical pre-fab shed costing $317,647 (inc GST).

SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22)
You are sent for professional counselling after witnessing something really shocking in Fortitude Valley – the Wickham Street escalators leading up to the train station working not only both sides but four days in a row!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22)
You still wonder if you’re the only person in the city who doesn’t know what the “7” in the Clem 7 tunnel stands for.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20)
Could it be that the owners of the tunnel now need only “7” times as many cars through a day to turn a profit? Or they need to charge $7 each way to make it viable?

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
Or is it simply that the tunnel will be finally declared a dud and filled in “7” months from now with soil being taken out of the Airport Link project?

PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20)
Which a little while from now will be filled in with soil being taken out of the Northern Link project.

ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20)
Which in turn will be filled ... oh, okay, you’ve got the idea.

TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 20)
It seems to you unfair if not downright unethical that the UK tabloid that trapped Duchess Fergie into asking for a huge slab of cash to line up a meeting with ex-hubby Prince Randy Andy cuts off their online video of the event right before the toe-sucking starts.